We are a Result of our Environment
As I traveled through the deserts of Baja Mexico and crossed its hills and stunning seaside, I began to feel good! Amazing actually! As Music and I glided freely down the twisting narrow roads to the unknown, I could feel the stress of America falling behind me. I began to realize I was free, but free of what? I couldn’t place my finger on it exactly, but I just felt a deep and refreshing relief right through my skin and down to my bones. Like a giant weight lifted from my body, I felt light as air.
At the same time, I felt like I had gained something, something I had been missing, and now it made me feel complete. The fog in my head had lifted that clouded my thoughts and I began to feel alive!
A Hushed Anxiety for HSPs that comes with Crowded Cities
However, when I reached the crowded city of La Paz, Mexico, that darkness I had felt back in the US mysteriously returned. Not as dramatic mind you, just a hint. I started to think it was me just tired from the long ride or maybe tired of fighting the high winds as I approached the city. But my intuition kept telling me its something far more sinister.
Figure 1. Desert of Baja Mexico. Simply Stunning and Serene!
I negotiated my way through the dense traffic. Traffic that sees people like me on a motorbike as a nuisance as people sit comfortably behind the safety of their trucks and cars. As a motorcyclist, we are extremely vulnerable. Vulnerable to not just the vehicles that try and push us out of the way, but to the potholes, dogs, people, and debris that are suddenly thrust in front of us without warning. As such, our minds are tasked with an attentiveness far greater than those listening to the radio or talking on their phones as they drive.
I don’t care how big and tough one might think they are on a motorbike, you’re no match for a truck or a car as it runs over your body. For a while, I believed this was what was changing my feelings inside, that elevated awareness of the dangers around me. Then I realized, that was only the pathway to something far greater.
Figure 2. The Hectic City Traffic as seen from a Motorcyclist’s POV
As High Sensing Persons, we have been told our whole lives to bury our feelings and, Lord forbid, letting feelings be a part of who we are. Men, especially, are expected to hide them and never let them out. As much as we try, we know that is impossible to do all the time. Some have gotten really good at it though, so good that they have become virtually emotionless all the time. Feeling no pain, sorrow, joy, or any of the multitude of emotions that come with being human. Others fight every day to control their emotional states, expending huge amounts of energy just to function in a dysfunctional world as their highly sensitive nervous system is on overdrive. Riding a motorbike through any foreign country with different rules of the road, signage, and a host of other uncertainties mean one needs to have every one of their senses on full alert! For us HSPs, that means every highly sensitive nerve is at full volume. Kind of like comparing the James Web Telescope in space to a kid’s telescope in a backyard, every detail needs to be examined simultaneously, as your life depends on it.
Unpleasant “feels” in Large Cities Elaborated
As a result of this sensitive permission, we pick up on a whole lot more than a sudden movement out of the corner of our eye. We pick up on frequencies that bombard every living cell in our body. Now, we cannot determine what these frequencies say or mean exactly, what I do know is that they simply give us a “feeling.” Here’s where it gets really interesting: if you are in a place where it’s peaceful and serene, then it won’t take long for you to feel peaceful and serene. However, if you’re in a place full of tension, negativity, anger, greed, selfishness, cruelty, and just plain uncaring, then guess what? You too will soon become the victim of these feelings.
Large cites are ripe with this negativity as the vast majority of people carry far more negative thoughts than positive, especially in public. It has been proven that negative thoughts are far more contagious than positive thoughts due to the subconscious mind’s need for protecting itself. One thing completely misunderstood about the mind is that it converses any negative thought into a positive action. Case and point.
The Power of “Not Thinking Something”
“DO NOT think of a big elephant!” By placing that thought of not thinking of something in your mind, your mind instantly thinks of it. This psychological tactic is used in a plethora of situations, from marketing to Olympic training.
Figure 3. An HSP Enjoys Living in Peaceful Settings
Some believe, one can manifest their environment just by the way they think. Olympic skiers are trained to think of the path instead of avoiding the trees. We tend to think of avoiding the traffic, the crowds, the crime, and so on, and ultimately what we are doing is inviting it in. If, however, you go to the countryside, where people live simpler lives, you will experience quite the opposite. Now, that’s not saying all cities and all countryfolk are like this, but it stands to reason. If the majority are, then the air is full of either that stench or that fragrance is it not?
Figure 4. City life with most of its negativity demonstrated in one photo
An HSP’s Anxiety
As HSPs, we cannot help but inhale this permeated atmosphere. As such, it absorbs into our cells and takes hold of our sensitive nervous system. Suddenly we feel off! We feel anxious and for many, they simply can’t explain why that was. If you’re an HSP, you would just know that what I speak of holds value! Even if you’re not as high sensing as some are, you can relate.
The Emotional Sensitivity Spectrum
Our challenge as High Sensing people is that 80% of society believes we are like they are or should be like they are. Now I use the 80% lightly as 2% of the population are Psychopaths, 5% are narcissistic, and 3.5% are sociopathic, totaling 10.5% of the population having serious personality disorders. HSPs make up an estimated 20% of the world’s population, meaning 69.5% of the population is somewhere in between. If HSPs had the support of that 69.5%, just imagine how that would change the world. But as it stands, HSPs have been for the longest time treated by many as broken or socially unacceptable, simply because they are more sensitive to their environment.
Figure 5. Empty Inside? Feel Numb? Broken? It will all pass. Try changing your environment for one.
You’re not broken. You’re Poisoned!
If you grew up in that belief structure, that you were broken, then that is an environmental condition that poisons your true nature. Hear me now HSPs, you are not broken, you’re poisoned! Poisoned by an environment that had no understanding of who we are or how to accept us. This resulted in you trying to be like them, which goes against your biological nature. Our challenge is not our kindness or caring nature, that’s a gift, so too is our incredible intuitiveness. It’s our lack of emotional management that many use against us! This is due to us being told we are not allowed to be emotional at all.
Truth is, we are all emotional, well the 10.5% may not be, including that 69.5% of the population I spoke of, ours just happens to be stronger in nature. When it comes to emotional management, trust me, that 69.5% lack it as well. They, however just don’t feel, see, hear, smell or taste as much as we do. Like any skill, emotional intelligence can be developed. But, like any skill, YOU have to want to learn it. That’s what my Blogs and website are all about, helping all of us, HSPs or not, to learn how we can manage our emotional outputs as well as inputs for they are directly related. Bringing us from Highly Sensitive beings to Highly Responsive ones.
It was imperative that my initial blogs painted a background picture of where I began. Moving forward, I want to take you on a journey, one that will help us develop our emotional management and intelligence toghter.
A Call to Action
Your first step, is to sign up! Login as a living adventurer and let’s begin the journey! There no trick, no cost or selling of information. Just one dedicated Highly Sensitive Man trying to reach out to other Highly Sensitive people. Many of us are banding together to help one another feel better, live better, and love better. The choice is yours.